Back on the Journey

Well, after over a year in Canada, thinking we had found our place, God has again shaken us from the (un)comfortable, and told us to put all of our belongings into storage again and sent us off to England again ...

The story behind all this goes something like this:

We arrived back in Canada in May of 2006. While we were in England we kept thinking God was going to reveal some wonderful big writing-across-the-sky explanation to us of what we were meant to do with the rest of our lives. Instead we came back with two concepts in our head - grace and forgiveness - and not a lot else.

Grasping at straws, both of us, I continued to homeschool, Trevor went to find a job in the banking industry in downtown Toronto, and we started to unpack boxes. When we went to return to our tiny post-modern/emergent/tiny church plant, we found that it was more or less an extremely tired, warn-out group, and what with feeling tired and warn-out ourselves, there wasn't a lot of good we could do each other.

The summer was a blur of Trevor working a job he hated (but continually trying to like it) and me home with the children, teaching a nine-year-old neighbour girl how to read. By the middle of the autumn we were in full-swing with homeschooling, I was doodling with my photography hobby on the side, and Trevor was feeling more and more wretched by the day. In the middle of November, we made the decision for Trevor to quit his job. In his place, I attempted the (enormous) responsibility of being the breadwinner by (yes, you can laugh, but keep it to a snigger) starting my own business. Upon mature reflection, this may not have been the wisest thing anybody did, but what did we know? I still think I can take a pretty decent photograph, but I now know I am an appalling saleswoman, and not a whole lot of good at marketing, so you live and you learn.

Round about the end of June I had had completely and entirely enough (and the bank account was starting to show the worse for ware as well). The children were also not doing great, and neither was Trevor. We took a couple of days off and went camping (the only thing we could afford!) and while we were away, Trevor suggested we renew our on-again-off-again search for a house, by looking in the city of Barrie. We recommenced our search on Canada Day (July 1), and although unsuccessful, decided it was worth another go. So we took July 4th off as well, and headed up to Barrie again.

By this point we had looked at somewhere in the neighbourhood of 40 houses, all of them too expensive or too run down or both. We had slowly developed a list of things we felt we really needed in a home to be able to homeschool and do hospitality ministry and work from home and not go batty in the process. We had more or less ordered these priorities, so we had a fairly clear idea of what the most important was (a breakfast bar) and what was further down the line (a separate bathroom for us!) We also had an idea of the square footage (about 2000 - 2400) and number of bedrooms (4 - 5, depending on whether there was another space that could be used as a study). We did not expect to find ourselves walking into a home that not only met but exceeded all of our expectations, but The Havens did so on every single point.

The funny thing, looking back on all of this, is that after months of very actively seeking after God and what He was interested, I think we'd both gotten pretty hacked off with the whole thing (I know I had) and had decided to just try to fumble along on our own as best as we could. It turns out though, as the last three months have unfolded, that God was truly very active in the midst of all of this, and seems to have been very much in control of what He wanted us to be doing and where He wanted us to be going.

First case in point - within a month of first seeing the house we had prepped our house in Mississauga to sell, Trevor had flown to England to find an interim job (to prop up the sagging family economy - he's far better at it than me, you know!), the house had sold, and Trevor had started working a 30 week contract -- leaving less than two weeks between completing the contract and our expected moving date for the new house.

Secondly, when I finally got my brain screwed on, I realized that the sermon series we had been listening to (and getting very excited by) at our church, was on the subject of "The God of the Table", discussing the importance of the meal in the life of the Christian. I began to remember all of the visions of hospitality that God had buried so very deeply inside of me, and realized just how many of them there would be room for in this new house of ours.

Thirdly, when I got my act in gear and started praying, I was incredible just how quickly God answered our prayers.

And finally, because we're back in England, staying in the same back bedroom of Trevor's parents' house (who have been gracious enough to put us up ... again! ... for another six months) it is even more apparent than it might have been the contrast between the last time we were here and this time - we have been able to see that as much as a lot of the last couple of years hasn't made too much sense, we are beginning to find answers and vision and direction -- and also realizing that we are not alone, that God is prompting thoughts in us that mimic and mirror so much of what we are hearing on other blogs and books and eLists.

So we're back on the journey. I'm going to try to start posting some of the thoughts we've been thinking and books and websites we've been inspired and challenged by over the next few days and weeks, in between the still endless tasks of being a mom ...