We Still Exist

So our fan club has posted their sadness in our lack of posting (thanks for noticing!) and I thought it might be worth coming out of lurk-mode to give an update on us a bit ...

Moving to Barrie has been an incredible - but VERY busy - experience.  After years of feeling very torn about "where" we live, we feel very much connected to Barrie, and have a strong desire to root ourselves deeply in this community.  Feeling rooted in one place also means unpacking from three years of transient-life - four trips across the ocean, 15 months out of country, 17 months living in other people's homes, and two two-week-notice moves leaves an incredible wake of unsorted boxes and lack of storage furniture for four people!  

So Trevor's been tucking into a new job that he actually wants to keep (he gets to work from home 9 days out of 10 and is THRILLED!) and the girls and I have been out and about in the parks and shops and community places in Barrie building relationships as much as possible.  

On top of that, I have completed my doula training - I am now officially Heather Morgan, CD (CBI) (for more information, visit www.fullcircledoula.ca) and have attended three births in the last two months - with another one/two births in the next week!

The unpacking is happening in and around the edges of all of that - we finally have a guestroom, and are so excited to see the Haven of Rest that it has become.  We are eager for God to fill it, though feel that He needs to take scheduling into account a bit better ... we only have one room, and it seems we've either got two people who need it simultaneously or no one to fill it at all!

And as we have attempted to get to know Barrie better we have realized just how empty this end of the city is in terms of (findable) Christian community.  We look around our home and realize we could easily house a church of 20 - 40 and wonder just what God has in store for us ... 

So our minds and bodies have been occupied in this new phase of the journey - but as the dust settles (literally, in this brand new development!) we will have mental space to post again ...

Just got called for a birth!

Sun and ice.

There's something slightly surreal about walking along the beach in a t-shirt at sunset, watching the kids dig sandcastles and play on the slides, while the last of the winter ice is still crushing against the shore, and looking out over the bay we could walk across a few short weeks ago.
It's also very beautiful, and a welcome antidote to a hectic weekend of renting trucks, shifting boxes, installing dishwashers, phoning lawyers and all the other activities that go along with moving house.

A brief pause ...

Well, after nine months, it would appear that the "labour pains" of buying a new build house are finally going to produce something.

We are moving on Friday!!!! We went up last weekend, and realized that there were several little "glitches" to work out, but we're still officially moving. (And now that we've moved everything up from the basement to the main floor of my parents' house to aid in moving, we'd BETTER move on Friday!) ;-)

I'm hoping to be back at working through Bonhoeffer in a week or two, but wanted to preliminarily give my excuses for being incommunicado.

Oh, and just to give you a foretaste - here's what the kitchen looked like on Saturday ...


Please - if you are ever going to be in the Barrie area, get in touch - we'd love to welcome you in!

Thoughts on 'Single-Minded Obedience'

I had a hard time with this chapter, to be honest. Especially as we are in the midst of buying a large house out in the suburbs - ostensibly because we think that there is something God wants us to do that will require the amount of space that this house will have, but frankly, are we just deluding ourselves for our own personal pleasure? As such, this chapter was a bit of a hard thing for me to figure out. Because Bonhoeffer isn't actually saying that everyone should choose voluntary poverty, but he is saying that in whatever Jesus is calling you to you must respond 100% - its not enough to just pay lip-service to it, to say its a good idea and then ignore it.

But how, today do we hear this call? How, today do we discern between all of the voices telling us all of the things that we "should" do? Even within the Christian world, it would be easy enough to jump on this person or that person's bandwagon, to give 100% to a cause or a vision that wasn't actually Christ's call on our own personal lives. Is it enough to say that I feel strongly about going in this direction (or in Christianese, "God has put a burden on my heart"), and the opportunities all seem to be lining up so I'll walk forward until I get told to stop? It seems to me that Bonhoeffer is making a case that obedience looks like something more than that, but I cannot honestly say that I know what that would look like.

Very open to thoughts on this one ...

Background Notes from Bonhoeffer, Chapter 3 - Single-Minded Obedience

In chapter three, Bonhoeffer begins again where he left off in chapter two - with the rich young ruler.

If, as we read our Bibles, we heard Jesus speaking to us in this way to-day we should probably try to argue ourselves out of it like this: "It is true that the demand of Jesus is definite enough, but I have to remember that he never expects us to take his commands legalistically. What he really wants me to have is faith. But my faith is not necessarily tied up with riches or poverty or anything of the kind. We may be both poor and rich in the spirit. It is not important that I should have no possessions, but if I do I must keep them as though I had them not, in other words, I must cultivate a spirit of inward detachment, so that my heart is not in my possessions." Jesus may have said: "Sell thy goods," but he meant: "Do not let it be a matter of consequence to you that you have outward prosperity; rather keep your goods quietly, having them as if you had them not. Let not your heart be in your goods." ... The difference between ourselves and the rich young man is that he was not allowed to solace his regrets .... he went away sorrowful. Because he would not obey, he could not believe. In this the young man was quite honest. He went away from Jesus and indeed this honesty had more promise than any apparent communion with Jesus based on disobedience.

Bonhoeffer than argues the case for obedience, but eventually comes around to this:

In the last resort what matters is not what the man does, but only his faith in Jesus as the Son of God and Mediator. At all events poverty or riches, marriage or celibacy, a profession or the lack of it, have in the last resort nothing to do with it - everything depends on faith alone. So far then we are quite right; it is possible to have wealth and the possession of this world's goods and to believe in Christ - so that a man may have these goods as one who has them not. But this is an ultimate possibility of the Christian life, only within our capacity in so far as we await with earnest expectation the immediate return of Christ. It is by no means the first and the simplest possibility.

Then the summation:

The actual call of Jesus and the response of single-minded obedience have an irrevocable significance. By means of them Jesus calls people into an actual situation where faith is possible. For that reason his call is an actual call and he wishes it so to be understood, because he knows that it is only through actual obedience that a man can be liberated to believe.

He then goes on to argue that this is not about human merit - of

insistence on preliminary conditions before faith becomes possible. Obedience to the call of Jesus never lies within our own power. If, for instance, we give away all our possessions, that act is not in itself the obedience he demands. In fact such a step might be the precise opposite of obedience to Jesus, for we might then be choosing a way of life for ourselves, some Christian ideal, or some ideal of Franciscan poverty. Indeed in the very act of giving away his goods a man can give allegiance to himself and to an ideal and not to the comman of Jesus. He is not set free from his own self but still more enslaved to himself. The step into the situation where faith is possible is not an offer which we can make to Jesus, but always his gracious offer to us.

Thoughts on 'The Call to Discipleship'

I think the thing that got my brain going the most on this chapter was a simple question - if Bonhoeffer is right, and there is no value in "voluntary discipleship", then how can you tell what is voluntary discipleship, and what is answering the call of Christ? In our own lives? In the lives of those we long to disciple?

And of course the corollary, is Bonhoeffer right?

Background Notes from Bonhoeffer - Chapter 2 'The Call to Discipleship'

The response of the disciples is an act of obedience, not a confession of faith in Jesus.

Bonhoeffer spends the second chapter of his book talking about our call to discipleship. He begins by discussing the calling of Matthew (or Levi).

Because Jesus is the Christ, he has the authority to call and to demand obedience to his word. Jesus summons men to follow him not as a teacher or a pattern of the good life, but as the Christ, the Son of God.

...And what does the text inform us about the content of discipleship? Follow me, run along behind me! That is all. To follow in his steps is something devoid of all content.

He contrasts this calling with the experiences of three would-be disciples to make the following point:

Discipleship without Jesus Christ is a way of our own choosing. It may be the ideal way. It may even lead to martyrdom, but it is devoid of all promise. Jesus will certainly reject it.

The passage he refers to is Luke 9:7-62:

The Cost of Following Jesus

As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, "I will follow you wherever you go." Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." He said to another man, "Follow me."But the man replied, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." Jesus said to him, "Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God." Still another said, "I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-by to my family." Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."

He then makes points about each would-be disciple. Bonhoeffer says that the first would-be disciple volunteers on his own, but cannot, on his own choose the life of suffering that is involved in true discipleship.

No man can choose such a life for himself. No man can call himself to such a destiny, says Jesus, and his word stays unanswered. The gulf between a voluntary offer to follow and genuine discipleship is clear.

The second would-be disciple, says Bonhoeffer, wants to ensure he fulfills the law first, and then wants to follow.

A definite legal ordinance acts as a barrier between Jesus and the man he has called. But the call of Jesus is stronger than the barrier. At this critical moment nothing on earth, however sacred, must be allowed to come between Jesus and the man he has called - not even the law itself.

The third would-be disciple again attempts to volunteer as a disciple - and even stipulates the terms upon which he will do so.

...although he is ready enough to throw in his lot with Jesus, he succeeds in putting up a barrier between himself and the Master. "Suffer me first." He wants to follow, but feels obliged to insist on his own terms. Discipleship to him is a possibility which can only be realized when certain conditions have been fulfilled. This is to reduce discipleship to the level of the human understanding.

So far, Bonhoeffer's "Steps to Discipleship" look a little like this:

1. The Call
2. Clean Break From Previous Existence (places the disciple in a place where faith is possible)

   So long as Levi sits at the receipt of custom, and Peter at his nets, they could both pursue their trade honestly and dutifully, and they might both enjoy religious experiences, old and new. But if they want to believe in God, the only way is to follow his incarnate Son.

Then Bonhoeffer wrestles for a while with:

only he who believes is obedient, and only he who is obedient believes

Do this! Give up that! Leave the ship and come to me! When a man says he cannot obey the call of Jesus because he believes, or because he does not believe, Jesus says: 'First obey, perform the external work, renounce your attachments, give up the obstacles which separate you from the will of God. Do not say you have not got faith. You will not have it so long as you persist in disobedience and refuse to take the first step. Neither must you say that you have faith, and therefore there is no need for you to take the first step. You have not got faith so long as and because you will not take the first step but become hardened in your unbelief under the guise of humble faith.'

He goes on to discuss the story of the rich young ruler.

The answer to the young man's problem is - Jesus Christ. He had hoped to hear the word of the good master, but he now perceives that this word is the Man to whom he had addressed his question. He stands face to face with Jesus, the Son of God: it is the ultimate encounter. It is now only a question of yes or no, of obedience or disobedience. The answer is no. He went away sorrowful, disappointed and deceived of his hopes, unable to wrench himself from his past.

And then he finishes the chapter by comparing the rich young ruler to the introduction to the parable of the Good Samaritan.

Thoughts on 'Costly Grace'

One of the questions we've been asking for a long time is what is the point of going to church on a Sunday morning. It often feels like it is simply an opportunity for people to make themselves feel better about themselves - sing some happy-clappy songs, listen to a self-help sermon, exchange some sincere smiles over bad coffee and get on with your life. We've been frustrated by the lack of depth that we've met in churches, the lack of change that it feels like people are willing to even discuss (much less achieve) in their lives. In otherwords, the lack of discipleship and interest/willingness to engage in the process of discipleship.

Another concurrent question we've been asking is how did a "Christian" country - Germany in the 1930s - allow the attrocities of Nazi Germany to be perpetuated within its borders and beyond?

All that is to say that this chapter really resonated with me - it captured my interest in the book and made me feel like there was something relevant here for me to learn from. This is why:

Bonhoeffer wrote this in Germany in 1937 - two years before the outbreak of World War II. His treatise is that without the discipleship of costly grace the church is completely ineffectual, and furthermore has been inoculated from the power of the call of Christ on an individual's life. His explanation of what this inoculation looks like is actually a bit frightening - lets recap:

We gave away the word and sacraments wholesale, we baptized, confirmed, and absolved a whole nation unasked and without condition. ... We poured forth unending streams of grace.

According to Bonhoeffer, the German church was willing to do anything to get people to come through its doors. The important thing was bums on seats, and to achieve this end the church was willing to prostitute itself to as many citizens as possible - selling for the cheapest price that it might obtain the largest numbers.

But the call to follow Jesus in the narrow way was hardly ever heard.

Calling people to follow Jesus along his narrow way is not a great way to get people flocking. This is a costly choice - Jesus promises that it will be. And if we can have grace on the cheap, why would we need to make the costly choice of grace? We've had our 'grace shot', we're inoculated against our guilt, we've listened to our self-help sermon, worded in such a way as we can feel like we're probably all right after all ("not as bad as Mrs. Buggins over in the third pew ... did you hear what she did last week?!?")

And equally if our churches have been able to gain the outward signs of success - a large parking lot, full to bursting every Sunday morning; a healthy balance on the offerings from week to week - without the cost of investing individually into people's lives; the cost of church discipline as well as baptism; the cost of confession as well as communion; to be honest, these days, the cost of communion as well as the sermon; then why would they trade the outward expressions of success for the challenge and upheaval of costly grace?

Bonhoeffer, although writing over seventy years ago, is asking the questions that many are asking today - how can the Church have an impact on its world? How can Christians live out their calling and their mission in the 21st century? And as much as we look for answers that are big, new, showy, and important, perhaps Bonhoeffer's answer - discipling individual Christians with costly grace - is an avenue we may find, in the long run, bears far more widespread impact.

I recently overheard someone who was mussing about the effectiveness of the early disciples on their world, versus the impact of the emergent church on North America. They were commenting specifically on Peter, and his ability to go from scared, Christ-denying, promise-forgetting fisherman to the rock upon which Christ built his Church. Yet if you were to ask Bonhoeffer how Peter was able to achieve this radical transformation you would get a very simple answer: Christ called, Peter gave up everything, obeyed in faith and followed. In otherwords, he was offered - and he chose - the discipleship of costly grace. But more about that in Chapter 4.